Christian Marriage Tips- Guest Post (By Melissa Mancia)

July 10, 2017 9 Comments

It’s time to hear from another amazing mom!  Melissa Mancia is the creator of thehomemadelife.com where she shares her journey of motherhood, faith, and creative living.

After meeting her and realizing we have quite a bit in common, (not to mention we both live in the great state of Oregon) we decided to do a little cooperative content swap, where she shares one of my posts and I get to share one of hers.

I loved this article she wrote on marriage and decided this would be a nice fit. I write a lot about being a mom and my journey of motherhood, but marriage is very much a large part of creating a happy home, as well.

I hope you enjoy! <3

 

Christian marriage Tips

By Melissa Mancia

Deep down we all long for that fairy tale relationship, one that ends like Cinderella. Why wouldn’t we? We have been groomed since school age to view relationships in a “Happily ever after” kind of way.

Then we grow up and start dating, or perhaps get married, and quickly realize the fairy tale is anything but real. We soon find out what is blissful in the beginning , turns a little sour. Leaving our hearts hurting, bruised, and quite confused.

I am always one to focus on the positive, but today I must simply be honest.  The truth is, the fairy tale love story is a minority not majority, and here’s why.

We live in a broken world, full of broken people that come from broken homes.

Knowing this we cannot expect our relationships and marriages to be perfect. In fact, more often than not they are very imperfect.

I’m not a relationship expert, and have done marriage the wrong way for many years.  It’s been far from perfect.  At times, it’s been really ugly. There have been moments of deep hurt, moments that without commitment and God’s grace we might not have made it.

However, over the past twelve years, God has shown me five things to implement in my marriage, and today I am grateful to share these christian marriage tips with you!

  1. Pray for your husband/partner– There is power in prayer. God has the ability to change hearts, open eyes, and heal wounds that cause us to hurt our spouse.
  2. Turn the other cheek– It’s so easy to retaliate when hurtful words are being said, but when we choose not to participate we are setting an example.
  3. Be a servant to your husband/partner- Just as Christ puts us first, we too, can show our husbands that same graciousness.
  4. Validate your husband/partner– never disrespect your husband around others, or talk poorly about him, even if his behavior was poor. Instead speak to others what you want him to be. (I’m not saying you can’t share personal things with close friends or get advice; rather, don’t get in the habit of talking bad about your husband).
  5. Lastly, Pray for yourself- ask God to open your eyes to the changes that you need to make in order for you relationship to be healthier. Ask Him to change your heart too!

Everything that I have encouraged you to do, I have done wrong many times, and can attest to the fact that it only breeds more dissension, pain, and resentments.

Marriage is always a work in progress. It requires effort, intentionality, selflessness; but mostly prayer, and putting God first.

My husband and I have both had moments when we seriously questioned quitting, throwing in the towel. I’m thankful we didn’t. God can turn ugly things into beautiful things. Had we given up on one another, we would have lost our life partner, and best friend. With God the fairy tale does exist!

 

If you are interested in more of Melissa’s content you can find her at thehomemade.com or on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

How do you keep your marriage healthy?

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9 Comments

  1. Reply

    Valerie

    July 10, 2017

    Oh, I really loved this! The part in the beginning about broken people from broken homes? Spot on. None of us enter marriage in a perfect state, so the challenges of living with and loving another can be hard. I love your advice, though! Well said. ^_^

    • Reply

      inspirethemom

      July 11, 2017

      This was the line that really resonated with me as well! Having an accurate picture of who we are saves us a lot of the grief caused by our expectations. thanks for stopping by! <3

  2. Reply

    Becca

    July 10, 2017

    These are such wonderful tips. I especially advocate #4. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve heard other women criticise their husbands. I always feel like saying, “If he’s such a jerk, why did you choose him?” You can choose to look at the best or at the worst in any situation, and you’ll always be happier if you try to magnify the best and minimise or ignore the worst. (Two huge disclaimers here: If it’s abuse, get out, don’t try to minimise it; I’m talking more about those annoying little habits, like the way he never puts the cap on the toothpaste. Mote and beam, people, if he’s willing to overlook me eating an entire bag of chips in a single sitting and then complaining that I just can’t seem to lose weight, I can overlook a bit of toothpaste mess. Also, I know some men also criticise their wives, and that needs to stop, too. I don’t want it to sound like I’m just picking on women here; respect goes both ways.)

    • Reply

      inspirethemom

      July 11, 2017

      I agree. You really shut down your spouses trust when you belittle them to others.

  3. Reply

    Katherine

    July 11, 2017

    Like Becca above, #4 really resonates with me. I make it a point never to disparage my husband in front of others. SO many of my friends so that, and it’s awkward and sad and difficult to listen to. Do you laugh? Ignore it? I feel so bad for the disparaged spouse. We should ALWAYS be building in each up, in public and private. Lovely post!!

  4. Reply

    Rosalinda Sorto

    July 11, 2017

    amazing post! i enjoying thinking about some of the points that you made and its not a topic i sit down and think about. thank you!

    • Reply

      inspirethemom

      July 12, 2017

      So glad you enjoyed it! <3

  5. Reply

    Terrigirl2017

    July 16, 2017

    Thank you so much for posting Melissa’s tips! I can use a lot of these in my marriage, Praying is a good one, I need to do that more in these busy days, also turning the other cheek is great. I do need to pray for myself too. The fairytale can exist! Hugs Dear, terri xo.

    • Reply

      inspirethemom

      July 17, 2017

      Absolutely! I’m so glad I got to share her tips. I think they were a blessing to my readers as well as, myself. <3

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